How To Adapt an Amazing A-Ha Moment To Boost Happiness

For far too long, I let the little things in my life get in the way of my overall happiness.  And then, one day, I had an amazing a-ha moment in the strangest place.  Have you ever had an a-ha moment?  It is like a light comes on for the first time and gives you a clear vision of what has been hiding in the dark.  Like an epiphany.  Through the years, I have learned to adapt that amazing a-ha moment to boost my happiness and inner peace.

Life Lessons in Pre-School Television

I will never forget watching TV with my kids when they were little.  Some of those shows were very special, and have impacted me to this day.  We sought out television programming that was not only educational but encouraged imagination and held a high moral compass.  In a lot of ways, those shows educated me too.

A handful of those endearing shows remain in my mind and close to my heart to this day, but there is one in particular that opened a door to my internal happiness, “The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss,” which is based on the Dr. Seuss books for children.

Admittedly, this was not on my list of favorites at the time.  One day, while the kids were watching an episode entitled “Yertle the King,” I became intrigued with the content and sat down to watch.

In a nutshell, Yertle The Turtle’s aunt was the beloved Queen and had to leave her kingdom to take a trip.  She leaves Yertle in charge, which was a bad idea.  The power of the crown and the greed that ensued caused everyone to dislike Yertle.  He continually wanted more land and didn’t care who he hurt to obtain it.  While reviewing a map of the kingdom and being shown what all the Queen owned, he continued to exclaim, “I want more!”

As you can imagine, this did not end well for Yertle.  His aunt, the Queen was none too happy when returning from her journey.

The A-Ha Moment

Yertle was only “acting” King for a short period of time, but his greed quickly destroyed many lives. The creatures in the kingdom were forced to give up what was rightfully theirs for his personal gain.

Horton the Elephant came to visit the kingdom to talk sense into Yertle.  He explains the heartache and sorrow of the people, but Yertle doesn’t care.  Horton then points out all Yertle possesses in the kingdom, but Yertle coldly tells him “I want more.  I want it all!”

A very sad Horton after pointing out everything in the realm of the kingdom, tells Yertle this:  “Be happy with what you have, and what you have will make you happy.”  And that’s it, folks.  My a-ha moment.  I’m talking screeching brakes, slap my head, A-HA, THAT’S IT!

You see, while I was never a greedy, power-hungry control freak,  it seemed like I continually longed for more.  A bigger house, a fancy car, whatever it was.  And I wasn’t even aware of it.

Attitude Adjustment

At the time, we had invested in a larger home that we were sure we could afford with no problem.  It was bigger than our cape cod, and it was new construction.  Guess what?  We became house poor.  My husband was laid off from his job.   To make matters worse, we also purchased a new truck earlier that year.

I have to admit, I was much happier in the smaller cape cod home, but by the time I figured that out it was way too late.  We had many friends who were able to buy new homes and honestly had more space than they knew what to do with.  Since attitudes can be contagious, I got it in my head that I needed more to be happy.  Having that attitude caused discontentment.  What you have in life is never good enough when you compare yourself to others.

The concept of “bigger is better” and the desire for things clouded my judgment at the time.  It cluttered my mind, which took my focus away from all I had to be, and was, thankful for (a wonderful husband and two happy, healthy sons, a roof over my head, etc).   That day, I had an instant attitude adjustment and began to count my blessings.

We quickly evaluated our situation and sold that house after living there for less than two years.  I don’t regret that decision.  We purchased a home we could really afford this time.  Smaller? Absolutely.  But the mortgage payment is less than what most people pay in rent.  Lesson learned!

In addition, we changed the way we vacation.  In the past, we took expensive vacations because everyone else did and we thought we deserved it.  Nevermind the fact that we couldn’t afford it.  Newsflash:  we are still paying for those trips.  Furthermore, when you are in the act of doing something that you know you cannot afford, it takes the joy away from the experience.   If you spend the entire time you are on vacation worrying about how you will pay for it, it just isn’t worth it.

When our boys were young, we began taking camping trips to kid-friendly campgrounds.  Back then, we had a tent (we now have a travel trailer that we purchased used for less than the cost of a week at the beach).  We really enjoyed it and so did the boys, even if it was a ton of work!  They built forts in the woods, swam in creeks and lakes, built fires, chopped wood, hiked, biked, boated, and fished. These are some of the fondest family memories we have.

Happiness Comes From Within

It took a children’s television show and Horton the Elephant to wake me up.  Those words, “Be happy with what you have, and what you have will make you happy,” have resonated in my mind for over a decade.  Anytime I daydream about a fancy car or a luxury vacation, this now automatic thought brings me back to earth.

The biggest and most important lesson learned from this a-ha moment:  Happiness comes from within.  Not one person on God’s green earth can make me happy.  I had to find that internal peace on my own.  Another hard look in the mirror.  Ouch!  Learning to love the skin your in, so to speak, is difficult.  Many self-help books exist on these subjects.

For some reason, the inferiority complex I used to have as a high-schooler pops up often.  The people who made me feel that way are no longer in my life (not that I placed them there in the first place), but I fight down the self-doubt on a regular basis.  Now that I am aware of the problem, it is easier to work on.  And it is a work in progress.  I try to focus on the positive things I have to offer others.

Lately, I have been pushing myself to be more confident and recognize my capabilities. The first, writing this blog.  The second, a new job.  I’ll tell you now, it would have been so easy to quit.  Both things are challenging me to learn a lot of new skills and have pushed me to the breaking point more than once.  Guess what, instead of quitting, I am persevering.  I choose success.  It’s a huge step, and I can report that it is doing wonders for my happiness and my inner peace, proving again that I am the only person that can truly make me happy.

Take-Aways

• After my a-ha moment, I took stock in all I had, and I don’t mean “stuff.”  Material things are irrelevant.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having nice things.  Taking care of what I own keeps it nice for a very long time which means I don’t need to spend money on a replacement.   This especially holds true in a vehicle.  Take care of your car and it will take care of you.
• Happiness can not be obtained by purchasing a new car, taking a fancy vacation, or buying more stuff.
• I spend more time and effort loving the people in my life and being happy with their presence than worrying about things I do not possess.

Again, it all boils down to one thing:  happiness truly does come from within.  Remembering to be grateful, facing your fears, challenging yourself to be a better person, and identifying spirituality have all been helpful in my search for happiness.   Sure, I still become overwhelmed and anxious, but I am truly happy.  My forties have been pretty awesome because I have lived with myself long enough at this point to know and like who I have become.  Not a bad deal at all!

Until next time,

April

*Note:  If you experience anxiety or depression, talk to your doctor and get treatment.  I will openly admit that having anxiety can quickly take over your life and you will NOT be happy when it does.  It can be physically and mentally debilitating; seek help.  There’s no shame in that.

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