What Happens When You Actually Face Your Fear Of Change?

A Sunday Short

More often than not, we are reluctant to make changes in our lives.  Change is a difficult process, but is necessary for our development.  Our apprehension regarding change is oftentimes, if not most times, completely unwarranted.  What happens when you actually face your fear of change?

Fear of Change

What is the most common reason we are so reluctant to make changes in our lives?  FEAR!  So let’s define fear.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fear as:

• An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation of awareness of danger
• An instance of this emotion
• A state marked by this emotion.
• Anxious concern
• Profound reverence and awe
• Reason for alarm (danger)

Fear of the unknown was typically my reason for resisting major changes in my life.  “An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.”  Yep, I can relate to that!  However, since I am fully aware that change brings both growth and opportunity, I am beginning to test the waters a bit more.  Life is about taking risks.

The anxiety that change brings is real.  Change has a habit of yanking me, oftentimes kicking and screaming, right out of my comfort zone.  But was I content in the comfort zone?  Not really.

“Risk is the price you pay for opportunity” – Tom Selleck

That was one of the most memorable and inspiring quotes I have ever read.  And it is so true.  Face your fears.  Maybe you are afraid of what others will think of your decision.  Perhaps you aren’t confident in your ability to perform well at a new job.  What if you don’t like your new hair color?  The list goes on.  If we don’t take risks, we will never know!  Many times, the fear and worry associated with these alterations of your life are amusing when you look back.  Other times, it can be worse than you imagined.  If you don’t try, you will never know!  Furthermore, you can hold yourself back from experiencing something you may love!

When Change Is Beyond Our Control

Change is imminent.  It forces itself upon you, despite your best-laid plans, blindsiding you.  We have all had our share of life-altering changes that pull the rug out from under us.

• Having a baby.  One of the most joyous and most earth-shattering changes I have ever experienced was bringing new life into this world.  No amount of planning and research can prepare you for the transition to being responsible for another human being.
• Loss of a job. This has affected so many of us over the last two decades.  Sometimes, a better opportunity comes along.  Unfortunately, sometimes one does not.  Overall, though, this can work out for the best.  It forces a person to look at other options and to examine new roads to travel.  I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, regardless of how difficult the circumstances.
• Loss of a loved one. While death is a part of life, it is an upheaval that many of us are not prepared for.  This type of change is devastating, especially when it is unexpected.  I ran into a woman recently who was paying some bills but was confused about the payment schedule.  She stated that her husband passed away suddenly in the fall, and she was left to do everything.  She told me he had taken care of all of their personal business:  insurance, taxes, utilities, etc.  Not only did she not know what was due, she was unsure about what to do about larger things, like income tax.  She assured me she was learning and persevering through this difficult time (I was only standing in line to pay my own bill when I learned all of this).  THE LESSON:  Make sure your marriage is a partnership and that each of you is fully aware of your financial situation, where important documents are kept, and how to manage your household and your investments.

• Divorce.  Separation and divorce can destroy individuals and take an emotional toll on couples and families.  For others, divorce can be a positive change.  It completely depends on the situation.
• Our children become adults.  One minute, you drop them off at pre-school and the next, they are wearing a cap and gown.  As they evolve, they become independent.  They pursue a post-secondary education.  They move out (hopefully) and get jobs.  Then, they get married and if we are lucky, give us grandchildren.
• Our parents grow old.  Gradually, our parents become “elderly.”  They may eventually become more dependent on us for help.

Positive Effects of Change

Change will compel you to grow up.  Don’t feel like adulting today?  Then don’t make any big changes!  Change will make you face your fears and will put you to the test.  None of this is a bad thing though.  In fact, change can drive you to find inner strength that you didn’t know existed.  It takes courage to implement change, and once you reach deep inside of yourself to find what you have, you may just surprise yourself!

While change can bring with it a rollercoaster of emotions, it can obligate you to do something. To take action.  To revolutionize your very way of life! Taking risks, following your dreams, and pursuing new opportunities are all part of the equation toward inner peace and happiness.  You may experience some turmoil along the way, but the result is worth it.

Until next time,

April

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